Posted by
mikechga on Tuesday, March 13, 2007 1:18:51 AM
Elections are really like a Snickers bar aren't they? You know, the Democrats are that choclaty covering that makes it all sweet and lovable. The Republicans are that great nutty caramel layer that makes a Snickers bar different and enjoyable. But there's more, isn't there? If you look at a Snickers bar after that first bite, you'll find that a good portion of the candy bar itself is that grey/tan stuff in the middle. That stuff is called nougat. I don't even know exactly what it's made of, but - by volume anyway - it's darn near the biggest portion of the candy bar. What is that stuff? Really, it just adds bulk right? Has anybody ever gone into a See's candy store and ordered two pounds of nougat? Who would do that ?!
Still, in America today, what sways elections is the nougat. That indescribable middle-ground goop that nobody talks about, and very few people think about. That non-committal ooze that makes up easily one-third of the whole thing. And the trick now days, is to convince that full third of the group that really has nothing to do with the success of the candy bar itself, to vote for your candidate.
The path to victory? Impress the nougat!
It's depressing, really. And the proof of my thesis was the 2006 election. The Democrats swooped to victory by NOT DECLARING ANYTHING. They have no plan (to this day, they have no plan). They have no bedrock principals (never have had since LBJ taught 'em how to win without those). They all ran on the platform that they were angry with George W. Bush, and since the nougat tends to believe what it sees on the 6:00 o'clock news, they were angry with George W. Bush, too.
The economy is good - caramel. Excellent judicial appointments despite rancorous, hateful opposition - peanuts. Free elections in Iraq - caramel. Saddam on trial and eventually executed - peanuts. Anger at GWB - nougat !
Now, you may have noticed, there were no examples of the choclaty goodness of the Democrats, but that's not really an oversight so much as a reasonable limitation on my memory banks. Now, the 6:00 o'clock news blamed GWB for Katrina, but Texas, Mississippi, Florida, and Louisiana were all devestated by hurricanes in 2005. Only one state stands out as incapable of dealing with the disaster on it's own. The only state in that whole mix to be run by a Democrat governor is Louisiana. All of the Republican governors managed to handle the crisis. It's still a crisis and awful things happened to all four states, but only Louisiana ignored A-L-L O-F T-H-E W-A-R-N-I-N-G-S and surprisingly suffered the W-O-R-S-T of the damage.
Yet, the 6:00 o'clock news managed to convince the nougat that GWB had control of the weather, and that giant of intellectual discourse Kanye West declared on national television that GWB hates black people. You see ... Kanye ... he's nougat ! He doesn't need any proof, he just needs to hear what his friends all say. No analysis of who normally handles disaster relief (it's the state), no analysis of who handles evacuation in emergencies (that's the city). All he needs is just what his friends have told him, that somehow if George W Bush had thrown even MORE money at Louisiana, that somehow those people who would not evacuate despite repeated and early warnings would be safe now.
Now, Cindy Sheehan, she's not nougat. No, she's chocalate all the way. However, the weenies who watch her on the news nestling up to Castro and Chavez, and still think her agenda has anything to do with our troops ... those folks are nougat.